Was something lost in translation or am I too old fashioned? Being a daughter of the Feminist Revolution, women my age often forget that time and biology (and every matchmaker or television therapist) proves to us over and over again, men are the hunters/the gathers and women must surrender to the bountiful harvest that only they can provide.
I recently engaged in conversation with a dashing, educated and successful Canadian man. He actually resembled my fictional dream man, Marc Darcy, European suit and all. The ink in my Bridget Jones’ diary dried up however, when I was hesitant to cross the border into Canada to meet him for coffee at a museum, yes, my little creative, artistic heart and over caffeinated self was excited to make the journey; which in fairness was half-way between us. However, that little voice in the back of my head was ever present. Traveling across any border nowadays is stressful on any seasoned globetrotter and having to answer those probing questions from border security would only give me more pause. “Why are you crossing into Ontario today . . . to meet a first date?”
After expressing my hesitation and providing other locations to meet for an equally satisfying cup of Joe, I was shocked when my northern beau said he would feel more comfortable in Canada. Well, it didn’t even warrant a response. I ceased communication. Was he not worried about my comfort? Then my imagination took over, could he not cross into the U.S.? Does he not have a passport?
Usually, these scenarios have a reasonable explanation. I studied Interpersonal Communication with some of the brightest minds in sociology and communication at New York University. During my Master’s program there, my colleagues and I were referred to as scholars. At 23 years old, I shooed away such a title. Though, as time went on, I eventually became an academic myself, and I now often refer to the theory of human nature; but also remember what my teachers taught me, “Rules cannot be proven scientific when it comes to humans interacting with one another.”
This thought process, combined with conversations with a happily married girlfriend who did the online dating thing says, “Whenever I made the initiative it was always bad – they never wanted to put any effort into dating.”
My experience, studies and cocktails in the field, can only lead me to believe that I saved time, a trip and a potential international situation.